"

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying over head
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it WOULD be grand!"

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."

The eldest Oyster looked at him.
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes - and ships - and sealing-wax
Of cabbages - and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed
Now if you're ready Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue,
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said
"Do you admire the view?

"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said.
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size.
Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter.
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none
And that was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

- I like the Walrus best, - said Alice: - because you see he was a
LITTLE sorry for the poor oysters.
- He ate more than the Carpenter, though, - said Tweedledee. - You
see he held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't
count how many he took: contrariwise.
- That was mean! - Alice said indignantly. - Then I like the
Carpenter best - if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus.
- But he ate as many as he could get, - said Tweedledum. This was a
puzzler. After a pause, Alice began, - Well! They were
BOTH very unpleasant characters - Here she checked herself in some alarm,
at hearing something that sounded to her like the puffing of a large
steam-engine in the wood near them, thought she feared it was more likely
to be a wild beast. - Are there any lions or tigers about here? - she
asked timidly.
- It's only the Red King snoring, - said Tweedledee.
- Come and look at him! - the brothers cried, and they each took one
of Alice's hands, and led her up to where the King was sleeping.
- Isn't he a LOVELY sight?" said Tweedledum. Alice couldn't say
honestly that he was. He had a tall red night-cap
on, with a tassel, and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of untidy
heap, and snoring loud - fit to snore his head off! - as Tweedledum
remarked.
- I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp grass, - said
Alice, who was a very thoughtful little girl.
- He's dreaming now, - said Tweedledee: - and what do you think he's
dreaming about?
Alice said - Nobody can guess that. - Why, about YOU! - Tweedledee
exclaimed, clapping his hands
triumphantly. - And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you
suppose you'd be?
- Where I am now, of course, - said Alice.
- Not you! - Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. - You'd be nowhere.
Why, you're only a sort of thing in his dream!
- If that there King was to wake, - added Tweedledum, - you'd go out
- bang! - just like a candle!
- I shouldn't! - Alice exclaimed indignantly. - Besides, if I'M only
a sort of thing in his dream, what are YOU, I should like to know?
- Ditto - said Tweedledum.
- Ditto, ditto - cried Tweedledee. He shouted this so loud that Alice
couldn't help saying, - Hush!
You'll be waking him, I'm afraid, if you make so much noise.
- Well, it no use YOUR talking about waking him, - said Tweedledum, -
when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're
not real.
- I AM real! - said Alice and began to cry.
- You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying, - Tweedledee
remarked: - there's nothing to cry about.
- If I wasn't real, - Alice said - half-laughing though her tears, it
all seemed so ridiculous - I shouldn't be able to cry.
- I hope you don't suppose those are real tears? - Tweedledum
interrupted in a tone of great contempt.
- I know they're talking nonsense, - Alice thought to herself: - and
it's foolish to cry about it. - So she brushed away her tears, and went on
as cheerfully as she could. - At any rate I'd better be getting out of the
wood, for really it's coming on very dark. Do you think it's going to
rain?
Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother, and
looked up into it. - No, I don't think it is, - he said: - at least - not
under HERE. Nohow.
- But it may rain OUTSIDE?
- It may - if it chooses, - said Tweedledee: - we've no objection.
Contrariwise.
- Selfish things! - thought Alice, and she was just going to say -
Good-night - and leave them, when Tweedledum sprang out from under the
umbrella and seized her by the wrist.
- Do you see THAT? - he said, in a voice choking with passion, and
his eyes grew large and yellow all in a moment, as he pointed with a
trembling finger at a small white thing lying under the tree.
- It's only a rattle, - Alice said, after a careful examination of
the little white thing. - Not a rattleSNAKE, you know, - she added
hastily, thinking that he was frightened: only an old rattle - quite old
and broken.
- I knew it was! - cried Tweedledum, beginning to stamp about wildly
and tear his hair. - It's spoilt, of course! - Here he looked at
Tweedledee, who immediately sat down on the ground, and tried to hide
himself under the umbrella.
Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said in a soothing tone, - You
needn't be so angry about an old rattle.
- But it isn't old! - Tweedledum cried, in a greater fury than ever.
- It's new, I tell you - I bought it yesterday - my nice New RATTLE! - and
his voice rose to a perfect scream.
All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella,
with himself in it: which was such an extraordinary thing to do, that it
quite took off Alice's attention from the angry brother. But he couldn't
quite succeed, and it ended in his rolling over, bundled up in the
umbrella, with only his head out:
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