- And yet what a dear little puppy it was! - said Alice, as she leant
against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
leaves: - I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if - if I'd
only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've
got to grow up again! Let me see - how IS it to be managed? I suppose I
ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great question is, what?
The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the
flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked
like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a
large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself; and
when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it
occurred to her that she might as well look and see what was on the top of
it.
She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the
mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that
was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long
hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.


CHAPTER V

Advice from a Caterpillar

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in
silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and
addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
- Who are YOU? - said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging
opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, - I - I hardly
know, sir, just at present-at least I know who I WAS when I got up this
morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.
- What do you mean by that? - said the Caterpillar sternly. - Explain
yourself!
- I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir - said Alice, - because I'm
not myself, you see.
- I don't see, - said the Caterpillar.
- I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly, - Alice replied very
politely, - for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so
many different sizes in a day is very confusing.
- It isn't, - said the Caterpillar.
- Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet, - said Alice; - but when
you have to turn into a chrysalis - you will some day, you know - and then
after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer,
won't you?
- Not a bit, - said the Caterpillar.
- Well, perhaps your feelings may be different, - said Alice; - all I
know is, it would feel very queer to ME.
- You! - said the Caterpillar contemptuously. - Who are YOU? Which
brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a
little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY short remarks, and
she drew herself up and said, very gravely, - I think, you out to tell me
who YOU are, first.
- Why? - said the Caterpillar. Here was another puzzling question;
and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar
seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
- Come back! - the Caterpillar called after her. - I've something
important to say!
This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.
- Keep your temper, - said the Caterpillar. - Is that all? - said Alice,
swallowing down her anger as well as she could.
- No, - said the Caterpillar. Alice thought she might as well wait,
as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her
something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking,
but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again,
and said,
- So you think you're changed, do you? - I'm afraid I am, sir, - said
Alice; - I can't remember things as I used - and I don't keep the same
size for ten minutes together!
- Can't remember WHAT things? - said the Caterpillar.
- Well, I've tried to say - HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE, - but it
all came different! - Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
- Repeat, - YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM, - said the Caterpillar.
Alice folded her hands, and began:

- You are old, Father William, - the young man said, - And your hair
has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

- In my youth, - Father William replied to his son, - I feared it
might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.

- You are old, - said the youth, - as I mentioned before, And have
grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door
Pray, what is the reason of that?

- In my youth, - said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, - I kept
all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment - one shilling the box
Allow me to sell you a couple?

- You are old, - said the youth, - and your jaws are too weak For
anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak
Pray how did you manage to do it?

- In my youth, - said his father, - I took to the law, And argued
each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.

- You are old, - said the youth, - one would hardly suppose That your
eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose
What made you so awfully clever?

- I have answered three questions, and that is enough, Said his
father; - don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!

- That is not said right, - said the Caterpillar.
- Not QUITE right, I'm afraid, - said Alice, timidly; some of the
words have got altered.
- It is wrong from beginning to end, - said the Caterpillar
decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
The Caterpillar was the first to speak. - What size do you want to
be? - it asked. - Oh, I'm not particular as to size, - Alice hastily
replied; - only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.
- I DON'T know, - said the Caterpillar. Alice said nothing: she had
never been so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she
was losing her temper.
- Are you content now? - said the Caterpillar.
- Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't
mind, - said Alice: - three inches is such a wretched height to be.
- It is a very good height indeed! - said the Caterpillar angrily,
rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
- But I'm not used to it! - pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And
she thought of herself, - I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily
offended!
- You'll get used to it in time, - said the Caterpillar; and it put
the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a
minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned
once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and
crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went,
- One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make
you grow shorter.
- One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT? - thought Alice to
herself.
- Of the mushroom, - said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked
it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly
round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she
stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit
of the edge with each hand.
- And now which is which? - she said to herself, and nibbled a little
of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a
violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot!
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she
felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so
she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed
so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth;
but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand
bit.


* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *

- Come, my head's free at last! - said Alice in a tone of delight,
which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her
shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked
down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out
of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
- What CAN all that green stuff be? - said Alice. - And where HAVE my
shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you? She
was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except
a little shaking among the distant green leaves.
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